As a financial counselor, I often observe a disconnect between a client’s financial goals and their actual spending. This typically happens when goals aren’t aligned with personal values. We all have values. They aren’t necessarily “good or bad”; they are core beliefs, principles, and ideals that guide your behavior, decisions, and relationships and determine what is truly important to you. They change throughout our lives as we do.
To help bridge this gap, one needs to identify their values surrounding money such as freedom, security, legacy, generosity, and experience. I encourage you to identify your happiest, most peaceful moments. Where are you? What things surround you? Why do these things bring you happiness? As we know, things cost money. Spending money on things that align with our values usually leads to satisfaction and accomplishment. Yet, spending money on things you don’t value usually leads to feelings of frustration and futility. After all, you can never get enough of what you don’t need.
Now that you’ve figured out your needs and values, what if your partner spends money on things you disagree with? It’s sure to happen as few couples partner up with their financial soul-mate. Opposites attract! We come from different backgrounds, personalities, and experiences. Values, too, may differ. One person may love eating out and trying new upscale restaurants with friends, while their partner prefers cooking at home, inviting friends over, and needs a fancy BBQ to cook tasty dishes. This results in arguments over their finances because doing both is depleting the budget. Talk to each other and address your common goals. Respect each other’s values. Compromise: one week you eat out, and the next week you set money aside for the cooking equipment.